June 5: It’s hard to believe it’s finally here! The beginning of the end. Up to this point, my pregnancy symptoms have been minor inconveniences, nothing life changing. However all that changed about a week ago when a lump appeared in my groin. It wasn’t super painful, just swollen. I made an appointment and as the week progressed, it got more painful and uncomfortable. Walking was mostly okay, but standing still when cooking dinner or washing dishes for example made it worse. The doctor assured me that’s it’s normal for your ligaments to grow and expand the support the baby, so now with peace of mind and the fact that it’s just part of me now, it’s a bit better. Still, I’m feeling physically limited, but I guess that might be a good thing.
June 13th: School is over and the weather is finally getting warm and we’re going on vacation in less than a week! I tried on most of my shorts about two weeks ago, including a pair of maternity shorts that I got for free on Facebook. I was pleasantly surprised that I was able to pull them up over my ballooning butt. This week, however, they don’t fit….
June 22: We’re on our final ‘baby moon’ vacation in Malta. It’s been so much fun being able to travel and basically the only difference is that I’m searching for the next public toilet every hour or so. It’s become quite hot though and trees are sparse so it’s hard to ‘beware the sun’ as my doctor ordered. Swimming is a different story these days since, not only have the muscles not been moved like this for a year, my body is a different shape! Still enjoyable though. Cliff jumping and wine tasting were off the table, but it was still great to vacation after being locked down during a challenging school year.
June 28: The random pregnancy symptoms continue to appear…twitching fingers, swollen feet, and skin tags. We have finally started organizing the baby things in the second bedroom and will take a shopping trip to buy some more essentials soon. Still no clue about what to name him. I hate how fat my legs, butt, arms, and face have gotten, but we’ll see how much energy I can muster to exercise consistently for the next 8 weeks. I regret not trying to jog earlier on and now I feel like it would just be a very bad idea to try.
July 4: I feel as though I’ve reached some sort of milestone where I can finally accept this massive bump as part of me. When Phaebeaux is moving around I had decided that it made me feel 10% grossed out, 40% excited and 50% amazed at what our bodies can do. I was watching a video of some woman on Instagram who was talking about how sexy she was feeling at 32 weeks pregnant. It made me realize how I had been feeling the exact opposite of sexy for quite some time which has since helped me to embrace the body that I have now. Why not feel sexy? Why not be proud of this bump that holds a human that I’ve grown??
All that being said, I still don’t think I’ll ever relate to the woman who, post-partum, misses their bump
July 10: it’s hot. Well, it’s hot for not having an AC in our attic bedrooms. I slept in the living room with the cats last night because it was so stifling hot in the bedroom. It’s supposed to be this hot for another week so we’ll have to get creative with our daily activities to get out of the house and stay cool. Getting comfortable is hard enough now with this massive bump, adding the heat is not enjoyable.
July 16: This week has been a hard one. I’m terrified and hot and grumpy and depressed and huge and uncomfortable. I’ve argued with Ronnie about the stupidest things and made his life miserable too.
July 25: I’ve felt a lot better this week. The cooler weather helps a lot. But where I thought I was moving slowly already, this week my pace has slowed even more to a snails pace! I can tell that my body is preparing for the big event.
July 31: My current symptoms include a twitchy eye for the past week, some heartburn, and all sorts of other random aches and pains. The drooling is back and some cramps have made an appearance as well. My belly frequently changes shapes and sizes as he is moving around so much. It’s almost as if he’s trying to get out anyway he can.
Sex has finally started feeling good again. For the majority of the third trimester it has felt like sandpaper in the vagina. No bueno. Also, my hands and feet aren’t really very swollen, but some days they feel numb and tingly.
August 4: The city has turned off our hot water for five days. This morning I had to wash my hair so I boiled a big pot of water and made a warm bath. I also boiled the kettle of water to add to the bath for when it got cold. Upon adding the kettle of water, I tilted it too early and it spilled all over my leg. Needless to say I spent most of the day at the doctor’s office. First to dress my burn, then for a baby checkup.
August 10: My eye is still twitching. My leg fucking hurts because my skin was basically ripped off while the doctor was charging the bandage today. My stomach is upset or maybe it’s some form if contractions? 9 days left
Monday, August 16: My leg is finally healing after going to the doctor’s office every day for a bandage change. I can almost walk normally without any pain (related to the burn anyway) so that has me in a better mood recently. I even got all 10,000 steps in the last two days…even though I think that left me exhausted today. The art teacher from my school took some maternity photos for us yesterday by a lake, so I’m excited to see how they turn out!
Our friends are all returning from summer holidays to get started back at school so it’s really great to see them again! Also we’ve made some new friends as well.
Braxton Hicks are certainly happening on a daily basis, but nothing else yet. We’ll see when Phaebeaux decides to show up!! I feel like I may just document every day of this week that I’m sure will feel like an eternity.
Tuesday, August 17: Last night I thought may have been time to go! I had several contractions about 20 minutes apart, but eventually they stopped. Needless to say I didn’t sleep very much. Also I had pretty terrible diarrhea which is another sign that labor is near.
We went to see Suicide Squad in the theater for one last hurrah. I have never been more uncomfortable during a movie. I had to keep breathing out of my mouth because I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath, especially with a mask on. Then I couldn’t find a comfortable position to sit for the whole thing. After the movie we went to buy a basket for baby to sleep in our room with us from Facebook marketplace. I was so exhausted that I went to sleep at 8:30 as soon as we finished dinner.
Wednesday, August 18: I slept so much better last night and was so happy to be able to take the bandage off my leg and take a real shower! We went to a doctors appointment and she shoved her hand up to check my cervix. Talk about cramping sensations! So uncomfortable. She said it’s softening, but still in tact so it may be a while. Upon checking the amniotic fluid, she said that there’s not a lot, so we will go to the hospital to get checked further tomorrow.
Continued here: The Big Day
The Tyranny of Comfort 